Throughout history, people have been naming alcoholic drinks for some of their favorite things – sex on the beach, fuzzy navel or Tom & Jerry. But whoever was on that mysterious funny drink names committee also created a few drinks that you just don’t want to have to order loudly at a crowded bar. Here are the top ten drinks that desperately need new names.


1. Slippery Nipple: This is one of the funny drink names would make any man or woman blush, particularly if you had to scream it across a busy bar. The ultimate embarrassment would be if the bartender had never heard of it. If that turns out to be the case, it’s sambuca, a cherry and Bailey’s Irish cream.

2. Screaming Orgasm: Yell this one out. Go ahead and shout it at the bar. It’s Kahlua, Bailey’s Irish cream and vodka, but if you tell your bartender that you want one of these, he or she might just say “don’t we all.”
3. Bend Over Shirley: Made mostly of raspberry vodka and sprite this drink is tasty but embarrassing to say, particularly if your bartender’s name happens to be Shirley.

4. Blue Balls: Made of Raspberry vodka, coconut rum and Blue Curacao liqueor, Blue Balls is one of the funny drink names that might just live up to its name if that girl dancing with you all night decides to go home with someone else because you had too many of these to make a coherent sentence.

5. Anus Burner: Tequila, hot sauce and a jalapeno. This drink is aptly named but in some establishments, you may order it and end up with a plate of Enchiladas instead of a drink.

The remaining of the top ten drinks that need new names are funny drink names for various reasons. Six is Mountain Dew Me, which might get you just a Mountain Dew and an invitation to drink it elsewhere. Seven is a Screwdriver, a drink name that may get you a few odd looks from people around you who misunderstood what you said. The remaining three are just silly to say in public and include a Girl Scout Cookie, White Russian and an Appletini. Any guy that sidles up to the bar and orders an Appletini is instantly going to be associated with Dr. John “JD” Dorian, and no one wants that. No one.


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